Tuesday, 23 December 2014

This Is Why You're My Best Friend

Dear Bestie,

We watched "The Vow" the other day and you said, "What if one of us lost our memory and forgot about our friendship?" The thought chilled me to the bone. So I'm writing a list as a reminder of all my favourite things about us, just in case.

1. We fancy the same celebrities: Channing, Ashton, J-Law... these we know we would share. But we also respect that Mila Kunis is yours and Emma Stone is mine, so when we are famous and hanging out on the red carpet, there will be no competitiveness.

2. Whilst our telepathy skills are still a little off, our ability to communicate with just a glance is on point. For example on the tube, where a quick side-eye means "Dayum look at the arms on that!" or at your place, when a slight raise of the eyebrows means "I can't believe he/she said that". I mean NO ONE else would ever understand our eye-language, it's like the Enigma code.

3. That running we joke we have with your boyfriend that we are secretly lesbians. Haha yeah, "running joke" - he's totally in denial...

4. Your endless optimism - honestly woman, this would be your super power. When I'm in a bad mood and everything sucks, you tell me all the positives of the situation. And even though I might not want to see the silver lining at the time your positivity always makes me feel better later.

5. TMI is not a thing anymore. I think we have discussed everything, from pubic hair, to sex noises, to the horrible effects lactose has on our digestive systems. There are no more boundaries.

6. When I tell you about my new crazy plans and you say "Go for it!" whether it's a career change or deciding to attend a high-class orgy. Equally, if I do something dumb (like applying for a job as a topless waitress or allowing a boy to be mean to me) you slap me over the head most appropriately.

7. Those times where we discuss religion or politics. We might not always agree, but I always learn something from your perspective and I like the way the world looks through your eyes. You are so passionate and you love so fiercely - the world would be a better place if everyone thought like you.

8. The way we do brunch. That first time we ate Sex on a Plate is probably the closest we'll ever come to seeing each other's orgasm face.

9. Your ambition. I can tell you my wildest dreams and I know you won't mock me, because your dreams are just as large and scary and we both want them so desperately. It's nice to know I'm not alone on this crazy uphill struggle and when (not if, when) we make it, we'll be there to enjoy our cupcake mansion together.

10. Taylor Swift. Because anytime a track from 1989 comes on, I know you'll sing and dance along with me. And you'll pull out all the cheesy dance moves without a care. Repeat for Beyonce / Foo Fighters / Britney.

11. Paris. I am so glad we took that trip that neither of us could really afford. It was a magical three days of just fun and not worrying about anything. It was all so simple and pain-free. Basically, we're a bloody good team.

12. London. Because without you I might not be here. You took the plunge first, you were the Clapham guinea pig and you lent me your sofa every time I needed to do shitty work experience. And there are few places in this huge sprawling city that don't bring back a memory of our adventures through its beautifully dirty grey streets.

13. Every time we're drunk (whether it be through alcohol or if we're just high on life/sugar). The photo-faces descending slowly but surely towards madness. The laughing for reasons we don't understand. The suit dance. Sir Mixalot. I don't even care what others think of us - we have a ball.

14. No judgement. You didn't judge me when I ate that whole box of Lindt balls. That's true friendship. I can say any weird thing that springs to mind and safely know you'll agree, if you haven't already thought of it right that second. Equally it feels just as comfortable to sit in silence and watch the world happen around us (I think this a is good sign RE telepathy development).

15. 2014. It's been one hell of a year and you've been there for me every day. You helped me move into my new place. You listened to my rants. You sent me pictures of motivational quotes. When I was a little bit broken and I couldn't stop crying, you told me it was ok to be sad. When things went well you celebrated with me and we made plans for the future. And last weekend you went out of your way to repair my relationship with Christmas (and even though I was convinced you couldn't, you kinda did, a little bit, maybe... yeah). I know your year hasn't gone exactly to plan either and I hope I was there for you like you were there for me.

16. I bloody love you fruitface.